Oh So 'Sexy':

Feb 28/2012: Somewhere in the country from Kanyakumari to Kashmir, some woman or the other is getting abused, groped, raped, maimed, even killed as this edit is being composed. The rapidity with which crimes are committed on women is frightening. Not a day passes without reports of such atrocities and yet there does not seem to be any let up. News of this kind no longer affects us or touches a nerve because we seem to have acquired a peculiar immune syndrome. Examples are many. For instance, a young woman of 17 was gang raped in a car at Noida, near Delhi last Saturday. Not only that, the local Police promptly let out the name of the victim to the media. Same day, another woman was gang raped in Burdwan of West Bengal. We are able to mention these handpicked instances since the media had reported them. Many others would have gone unreported too. Yet what hogs the limelight is another incident of barely any consequence which took place on that very same day at Jaipur, Rajasthan.

The recent controversial explanation of the word `sexy' by Ms. Mamata Sharma, Chairperson of National Commission for Women (NCW) at Jaipur, capital of Rajasthan terming it as connoting beauty and charm amplifies this point. Many pseudo-feminists are up in arms against her for making, what they consider, a derogatory remark against womankind. Whether she used the adjective with mala fide or bona fide intention is of little consequence. An apt thing to do would be to dismiss Mamata's comment as an off-the-cuff remark and get on with life. It is necessary to understand that modern English has managed to subvert true meanings of many of its words. In the 'SMS' age of modern lingo, the word 'sexy' need not have any connexions with the word 'sex'. It is a word that could be used to appreciate a car, a man or any other object that appeals. Trying to create a situation where none exists is a speciality that we modern Indians tend to thrive on. It is true that the adage 'With great power comes great responsibility' holds good even today. Sharma's post of Chairperson is not an elected seat. She has been nominated because she has the right kind of approach to the powers that be at Delhi. All that is fine. Yet her responsibility does go up many folds because she is where she is.

Any phrase, sentence or word taken out of context from a long speech could very easily sound extremely convoluted. While giving Sharma the benefit of doubt we must hasten to add that as the Chairperson of the NCW, she ought to have been much more guarded in her use of words. There are umpteen problems facing the average Indian woman. The Constitution of India spells out equality for both genders. Still, in reality that is not what our social mores allow us to do. Starting from the birth of a daughter which frightens the parents and the mother is condemned by relatives and in-laws, a girl child is constantly at odds with her environment. To quote Taslima Nasreen from her 'Nirbachita Column' a girl child is only allowed to grow physically while all her other abilities are constantly suppressed. An unmarried woman is a sore thumb for family and friends. An unmarried man is a bachelor worth his weight in gold. In many states of North India like Haryana, when a girl marries her lover, her own close relatives take it upon themselves to trace her out and butcher her mercilessly under the pretext of 'Honour killing'.

And what have these worthies opposed to the remark of Mamata Sharma done to uplift women, one may legitimately ask. Instead of sitting in ivory towers and wasting their time in diatribe, these cheer leaders should go and work among women, try to understand the harsh realities they face and uplift them by means of counselling and educating. All this in a country where we worship Goddess Durga as the Supreme power, the Destroyer of Evil and the Protector of all that is Good. We do not mind worshipping the image of Durga, Laxmi, Kali and Saraswati day and night, yet we have no compunction when it comes to inflicting injuries--mental, physical or both--on women even on mere suspicion. The Ramayana, one of our greatest epics, tells us the story of Lord Rama banishing forever his wife Sita on the mere loose talk of a washer man in his kingdom. Not only today, the Indian male has been groomed since ages to treat women as expendables. If only we sit up and honestly try to understand why society treats women in this inhuman way, it would become clear that in our quest to quench our animal thirst, they become easy prey. Owing to the socio-economic background and generations of suppression, women even in 21st century India are brought up in such a way that they are made to believe the kitchen is where they belong. Indeed, over the last few years there have been certain welcome changes to this stifling attitude. Many women in business, politics and other important spheres of activity break the glass ceiling and continue to go beyond the confines of the kitchen, take centre-stage and prove their mettle. But then such instances are few and far between in comparative terms.

At the core of all this is the fact, whether we like it or not, that we are a highly male-dominated, conservative and macho society. In this milieu, if women are to be emancipated, the initiative must come from men. To cut loose from this vulgar mindset is nothing short of a great rebellion, but for achieving it women have to have basic education, courage and grit to stand on their own feet and, more importantly, financial security and social freedom. It is here where education and employability count. Various social and women's organisations can play a pivotal role in this respect. Unfortunately, what we see around us is that these so-called organisations created for the ostensible purpose of women's welfare or emancipation are, in reality, parking lots for some politically ambitious but sadly frustrated women activists. States such as Orissa where crimes against women are particularly on the rise should take extraordinary steps to reverse the trend. One way to achieve this is by offering a level playing field for women in all theatres of activity.

Stringent punishment could also act as a deterrent. Better counselling and policing could go a long way in achieving the desired results. Maybe it is time for setting up institutions to counsel men on violence against women. Lust is part of human nature, but rape and murder are not. For every single physical rape that takes place, hundreds of women would be getting visually raped. What if, by force of circumstances, women were to impose a dress code on men? No man would tolerate that situation. Time has come when men, and women, wanting to change the social structure should take the first step in their individual lives and also assist others who are trying to do so. The explanation of the word 'sexy' by the Chairperson of NCW could disturb the hornet's nest for which media and activists took up cudgels against the lady. Yet when on the same day so many other serious crimes were committed against girls and women across the nation, there is none to highlight and speak out for punishment to the guilty. The Pipli case of Orissa shows that only when a politician or a bigwig is involved does the matter get prominence in the media. Common women may not expect any justice if their incident does not hold the right amount of 'masala'. This mindset opposes freedom and emancipation for women. It is time we spend less time on trivialities and concentrate on more serious issues that need immediate attention.